he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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