Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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