guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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