Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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