O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
