I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
