I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish i was in the wii world.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
