well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
