yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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