Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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