Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
