i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize