Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
