He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
