we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
