Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
