she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
