i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
