using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize