Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
