I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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