My nipple is on Facebook.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Shame is for Republicans.
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