OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
