He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
