should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
