Non-Jews are for practice
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
