her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He did a backflip because drugs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
