Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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