Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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