Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
