hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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