Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
