I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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