i was born a porn star she said
they need to just BURY HIM!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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