yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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