umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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