judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
