I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
