I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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