If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
