I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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