I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
