Nicole vs. Life
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
