I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
