If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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