He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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