doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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