I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
