just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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