Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
