the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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