did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
