i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
