do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
