yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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