i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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