just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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