I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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