i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
